- Dog Whisperer Customer: Hey wanna see pictures of my DALMATIAN? She looks like a human!
- Me: What??
- Dog Whisperer Customer: SHE LOOKS LIKE A HUMAN. Here, I have pictures on my iPhone! Look at her TOES!
- Me: Oh... (Obviously this was difficult to hold myself back from confused laughter)
- Dog Whisperer Customer: SEE look how beautiful she is! This is her posing! She is posing! Look at the way she is posing!
- Me: I see her toes! Yeah... coool.... (?)
- Dog Whisperer Customer: SHE IS POSING LOOK HOW GREAT SHE IS. Look at those toes! (Flipping through, no joke, at least 120 photos)
- Me: Ha, I see, uhhhh, okay, well have a good night.
- Dog Whisperer Customer: : Okay it was very very very nice to meet you, thanks for being so helpful, you should definitely try to learn how to work in this department though.
- Me: Ummmmmm alright I'll work on that, see ya!
- Asshole Customer: Do you have the DVD called Cesar Milan?
- Me: Let me check my computer, be right back.
- Music Dept Manager: Oh, it's right over here, Lauren. He means The Dog Whisperer.
- Asshole Customer: HA WELL YOUNG LADY YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW THE DEPARTMENT VERY WELL.
- Me: Oh... I didn't realize it was The Dog Whisperer series. "Cesar Milan" didn't ring a bell..
- Asshole Customer: Well you should probably learn this department, hah hah!
- Me: OK, sir. I don't work here full time and I don't really have time to study the THIRTY FIVE THOUSAND TITLES WE CARRY.
I mean, seriously, think about it:
“I am engaged to be engaged.”
Does anyone else think about how stupid that sounds? It’s cute when you’re 16 or a Jonas brother. When you’re pushing 30, its not cute anymore — it’s weird. It’s one thing to look at your boyfriend and you’ve already had the marriage talk and it’s in the works but not just yet, but it’s a completely different thing when you actually have a pre-engagement ceremony or some shit to celebrate your promise to get married eventually.
It makes no sense to me.
What is the significance? You’re not engaged. You’re pre-engaged. What the fuck, that doesn’t even exist. Pre-engagement is being in a relationship. Hell, I’m pre-engaged and I’ve been single for roughly 348 years, if you wanna get technical about it.
So yeah, adults, give up the promise ring shit, You wanna get your girl something sparkly, then fucking do it. Don’t attach some dumb “pre-engagement yaaay!” bullshit onto it so that you feel like less of a douche for not wanting to get married any time soon.
THANKS. End rant.